


If you are fighting me...

by Melime



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Drinking, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-06
Updated: 2015-06-06
Packaged: 2018-04-03 03:02:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4084132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melime/pseuds/Melime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>... at least you aren't fighting each other.</p><p>After a stressful trip, Dorian and Bull need some answers, and all Lavellan wants is a drink and to get them talking with each other again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If you are fighting me...

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Português brasileiro available: [Se estão brigando comigo...](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4084147) by [Melime GreenLeaf (Melime)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melime/pseuds/Melime%20GreenLeaf)



> For those of you who already know me from other fandoms, no, you didn't read wrong and I didn't mark it wrong after. This is my first time posting something I wrote in English first and translated to Portuguese (note to self: that's considerably more work since en!me is a jerk that uses too many hard to translate things). I hope I did alright, I tried thinking in English instead of translating ideas. Also this is my first adoribull, this ship took over my heart (I may or may not be writing a multichapter modern au). All the thanks in the world to my lovely beta feygrim for all the help, as always all the mistakes are mine.  
> Edit: I find it really funny that for some reason this is dated one day after the translation when it was posted about 30 seconds before, weird.

Seeing the Inquisitor drinking alone at the bar was a surprise for many of the patrons. She came by often enough, to talk to Bull or bond with the chargers, on her way to see Sera or Cole, to rescue Dorian when she thought he had enough to drink, occasionally even just to listen to some songs and gather how was the morale. But drinking without Bull's enthusiastic cheers, Dorian's drunken company, Sera's demanding challenges or Varric's thoughtful ideas on how to make her more relatable? That was unheard of, and it was enough for her inner circle to know it was better to keep away from her. Too bad Bull and Dorian also had one of those days, and all the disasters on their last trip could be blamed on her.

 

"So, what was the brilliant plan behind dragging me and Bull around Emprise du Leon for a week?" Dorian asked, sitting by her side.

 

"It's all your fault, ass." She replied, the alcohol just barely making her slur her tongue, or at least so she hoped.

 

Dorian raised an eyebrow. "You are beginning to curse like Solas; it's not a genetic flaw of your people because Sera has a much more colorful vocabulary, so I hope he hasn't infected you with something. Don't worry, I will put you down mercifully if you start to dress like you live under a bridge."

 

"See? You can be an ass without being a total ass. No one is saying you can't be an ass, it's part of your charm, you are a loving ass, but not even you can get away with being a real ass." She said, very satisfied with her explanation.

 

"I know that probably made some sense in that pretty little head of yours, but perhaps you could enlighten those of us that aren't blessed by Andraste and explain what's the connection between me being a total ass as you put it and you dragging me across the snow to fight templars without proper backup?"

 

It was then that Bull arrived, bringing two tankards of Fereldan beer and a mug with a bubbling green liquid that had a strong elfroot smell. 'For hangover' he mouthed behind her back to Dorian, while replacing her drink with the potion and giving one of the beers to Dorian.

 

"What's up boss? I heard talk of Dorian's ass and had to join." He asked while sitting on her other side.

 

Dorian rolled his eyes and sighed loudly, but before he could say anything, Lavellan took a sip of the potion and spat it back into the mug. "What is this? Give me back my beer."

 

"Just following orders, boss."

 

"Whose orders? I'm the Inquisitor, they can't defy me. I'll decaffeinate them. Decaptivate. Decapinate." She finally waved her hand, giving up.

 

"If I recall correctly, you ordered Alexius to serve the mages of Redcliff after he tried to erase you from time, so pardon me if I doubt your ability to order anyone decaffeinated." Dorian mocked.

 

"And the orders I'm following are yours, boss. Remember? From when we fought that first dragon. You ordered me never to allow you to get that drunk. Or begged. It was a little hard to understand you with your head in a bucket."

 

"That's not how I recall it." She frowned, trying to remember that night a few months ago. "I was in the bar, drinking something that tasted like motor oil, and Josie came to call me to some important dinner with a group of nobles."

 

"The following night. You were drinking here, then I took you back to your room, where you sleep until the following night."

 

She waved her hand again, perhaps dismissing what he was saying.

 

"It's no wonder a beast such as yourself would only be interested in drinking stories, but I would rather know why we went conquer a keep, kill a demon and secure those towers, and our dear Inquisitor decided to decline the company of all of her inner circle with the exception of the two of us. You left Sera behind at the camp! Not even in Skyhold, you left her in a random camp in the middle of nowhere! So I'm taking you must have a special reason for wanting to kill yourself and bring us along."

 

Lavellan hit her head against the table and kept it low, finding that this way it was spinning less. "I didn't know there was a demon until we got there. Thanks for not letting me choose the virgins, by the way. I mean power; I wanted power for the Inquisition, who needs virgins? They don't know how to do anything. Or whatever, I don't even remember why I started talking to it, maybe I've been spending too much time with Solas, he keeps telling me to listen to the spirits so I almost made a deal with a demon. But it's also Dorian's fault for being an ass. And mine for being such a fool. So Bull is the only innocent here."

 

"You do realize that your are just babbling and not actually explaining why you insisted in walking around the snow for days with just the two of us?" Dorian asked rather rudely, and waited for an answer that didn't came.

 

Noticing that she was in a bad shape, Dorian started circling his hands gently around her shoulders, letting healing magic slowly flow to her body. He wasn't an experienced healer, but of course a spoiled high class mage would have studied how to deal with the effects of alcohol.

 

"To be honest, had I known that alcohol would be the solution to my problems I wouldn't have spend days walking around in the snow. And we wouldn't have found those dead elves. So maybe it's a good thing I didn't. Or did."

 

Bull was the first to catch her meaning, because Dorian was still pretending there wasn't a problem, so of course it was he who asked. "Well that is my answer to everything, but you never seemed like the type. So if there's anything I can do to help...?"

 

"You are already helping, you and Dorian are finally in the same general area without fighting."

 

"Well it's not my fault if this brute..."

 

She raised her head, shaking it slightly. Between the potion and Dorian's magic she had gotten rid of the worse of the alcohol, and although she was still quite drunk, at least she could think more clearly. "No, Dorian. You were starting to get along, bonding, and all of the sudden you start provoking him and for the last three weeks you haven't talked to each other. So I arranged a trip without anyone else for you to talk so you would have to work your problems, and at least Bull tried to keep a conversation. Or get in your pants, at this point, I don't even care anymore. Except I'm friends with both of you so of course I care. Just do me a favor and fix whatever is wrong between you two. I'll go back to my room."

 

Lavellan tried to get up, just to find that standing too fast was still a bit of a challenge. When she finally managed to get her feet under her and stand upright, she waved them goodbye and headed for the door.

 

"Do you think we should go after her or...?" started Dorian, looking at Bull.

 

"You should stay and talk, I think I know the way to my own room, it's the big one by the throne." She said just after crossing the door.

 

Now it was just the two of them, with just an empty chair in between. For a moment Dorian's mind drifted as he wondered if Bull could grab him before he left, and he concluded that he definitively could, and most certainly wouldn't. The big brute with all his ideas of consent and making people say aloud what they wanted. Yes, he knew his own thoughts didn't make much sense, but he was too mad at himself and the world to care. He finished his beer and, without looking at Bull, started to talk while tracing the edge of the tankard with his index finger. "You know, if you are going to act like a horny mabari you should at least buy me a drink."

 

"I thought I just did."

 

"Oh no, Fereldan beer is not a drink, I've drank healing potions that tasted better and you know how bad healing potions taste."

 

"You know you like it. You have a taste for a those vulgar and forbidden things you could never have in Tevinter. But if you prefer I have a bottle of Nevarran wine in my room."

 

Dorian chuckled. "You are going to have to do better than this if you want to lure me to your room."

 

For a moment, Bull let out a look of concern, then resignation. "I don't lure people to my room, Dorian. I don't have a trap for you, just an honest invitation. If you aren't interested just say so; if you want me to stop, just say so."

 

"I haven't had a good glass of wine in so long that I think I would do anything for it, even if it came from a brute." Dorian knew what he was doing, he always had to bait Bull like this, and it angered him that the Qunari refused to just go along with it. He was going to give him what he wanted, but Dorian was going to have to admit what that was first.

 

"I'm not buying your time with a drink, Dorian. A gift is just a gift, you don't owe me anything. If you want to just take the bottle and run from here, feel free to do so. See if you can get some clean glasses, I'll go grab the wine."

 

Dorian sighted. When did something so simple became so hard? He could think of at least a couple hundred inquisition soldiers that would run to his bed if he as much as nodded his head the right way. Or run to the dark corner behind the bar, more likely. And here he was, talking to someone who didn't mind propositioning him in front of the Inquisitor, and would be more likely to use fashionable pants than he was of wanting to hide in a dark corner.

 

When Bull came back, he poured the wine into the glasses Dorian arranged in front of their places. The bottle looked particularly old, and Dorian wondered if Bull knew how much something like this was worth.

 

"About twenty thousand coins, fancy enough for you?" Bull said, answering the question that wasn't asked, but that he could see in Dorian's eyes.

 

"And how someone like you would go about procuring such an expensive wine?" Dorian asked, although he couldn't bring himself to poison the words as he thought he intended.

 

"You know, the usual, kill the right person, see if they have anything worth taking."

 

"You mean looting? No wonder you and the Inquisitor are such good friends, she can't even see a dead fennec without taking off the skin."

 

"And why is she friends with you?"

 

Dorian waved a dismissive hand, and for a while they drank in silence, until it was unbearable. "You know, there are cheaper ways to drag someone to your bed."

 

Bull sighted. He wondered if Dorian knew how frustrating he could be. "I told you already, I'm not buying you, just sharing a good drink with a good friend."

 

"A friend you want to fuck."

 

"What I want hardly matters, what do you want?"

 

"You were the big bad Qunari spy, figure it out."

 

They were in silence for a while longer. Dorian refilled his glass, and a small part of him couldn't help but think that in an absurd way Fereldan beer was better.

 

It was Bull who finally broke the silence. "We should really talk about what happened the night we came back from the Hissing Wastes."

 

"Alternatively, we could never speak of it again and pretend it never happened."

 

"I'm sorry I didn't realized that turning your glass that way when looking at someone was a secret Tevinter sex sign, although in my defense that is discreet enough to be missed by most spies I know, especially if they had been drinking. I have to admit I never even heard of it until Krem told me."

 

"Didn’t I say ‘not talking about it’? I distinctly remember saying something about not talking."

 

"As you wish, all you have to do is ask. I'm heading to bed now, you can keep the rest of the bottle. As a gift, no strings attached." Bull added before Dorian could say something on that regard.

 

Dorian watched the muscles in his back as he walked away. A part of himself was mad at the audacity of the Qunari, he promised himself he wasn't going to follow. He had no reason to follow, Bull was just messing with him, he was sure of it. There was no way that little trick was going to work. He had too much dignity to run after someone like that. He wasn't going to Bull's room.

 

Or at least he would have the presence of mind of bringing the bottle along, no one leaves behind something so expensive.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written a few months ago and is the in-game perspective of the true story of my last day playing. I really wanted them to have that banter, and got a bit carried away with the side quests, but it worked, because the very next day they had the "about last night" talk. I couldn't help but imagine my very annoyed Inquisitor trying to get them together, or at least talking. You can't convince me this isn't canon for my game! And yes, I know the secret sex sign idea is a bit ridiculous, but it was the best I could think of for "Dorian showed his cards and Bull missed his time".


End file.
